we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
