party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
