I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
