Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
