how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
