I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
