her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She bit a glass in half.
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I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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