i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
