We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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