I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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