You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
