I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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