shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
