it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
