So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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