I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
