some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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