If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
