So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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