Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
