I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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