Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
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did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
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I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.