Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i permit you to call me
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
