i permit you to call me
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...