Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
PANTIES FOUND
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
