He is an equal opportunity slut.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
