We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
