Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
