Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Randomize
