My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
