I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
