he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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