Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
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In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
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Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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