did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
