my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
