Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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