I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
