apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
