Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
