come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
