There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize