What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
