There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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