it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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