I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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