Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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