Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
