I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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