they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
