I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
