I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
