Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
