i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
