my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
