Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
