Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
