i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My ass is underappreciated
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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