I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize