he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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