We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
