I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
