my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
