A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
